Christopher’s Internet Affliction

I like hot sauce. I like it a lot! But, sadly, I’ve been given a nervous stomach, so, I must be careful with the goods. And I don’t like it too hot, either, I like it with flavor! But, given as hot sauce and so much extra heat sells a lot better than the foodie-grade stuff, (I blame football and frat boys) I, once again, decided to make my own. This is one of my oldest projects, having been refined over the years, and some still sing the praises of my ‘green sauce’, which I made up in 2001. It’s something I’ve gotten to be very creative with, and that’s what I hope to inspire with this writing.

More after the jump..

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Howdy!

Of course, if you’ve been reading for any length of time, or know me personally, You already know I’m all about the do it yourself ethic, and especially with food- I really enjoy making everything from scratch. I think my one big “pass!” is with pie crusts- and I think anyone who’s tried to make one from scratch agrees. I’ll gladly fork over two dollars to the man for the convenience of not having to make the things myself! Anyhow, Here’s the buttercream frosting recipe from Magnolia Bakery in NYC- easily the simplest, and best, icing recipe I’ve found. As always, my usual caveat- use poor quality ingredients, get poor quality food. Also, keep in mind that you can easily make this recipe with all hand utensils, I don’t own a blender! And with cupcakes, have even MORE fun with them! That big honkin’ photo to the right is a batch I made- The raspberries, blueberries, and shaved dark chocolate (Freeze the bar, shave with veggie peeler) added a nice touch of bitterness, which was lovely, with all the sugar involved. This is one of those things you can just hop right into and take anywhere you want! By the way, this is the stuff immortalized in the “Lazy Sunday” Saturday Night Live short skit.

Recipe after the jump!

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Hi everyone!

I like good popcorn, just like everyone else! So, microwaved popcorn doesn’t really do it for me- butter makes it mushy, and it’s rather icky and expensive, too! Not to mention all of the unpronounceable chemicals that are in it. So, I kick it old school- I get the soup pot out, and make some really tasty, healthy popcorn for my snacking needs!

My favorite combo right now is using an infused olive oil (garlic!) and a nice blend from The Spice House, a local spice shop. I like their Lakeshore Drive Seasoning best, and their Old Taylor Street Cheese Sprinkle sits nicely, too, but I’d skip the infused oil on that.

Recipe and kettle corn after the jump!

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Okay! Here’s a quick one for you. This will take no time at all, and will nicely compliment your homemade wine vinegar collection. It’s really as easy as it gets- if you can’t handle this, then perhaps you ought consider hanging up your apron! Anyhow, you only need three items.

What you need:

1. Clear glass wine bottles, with cork.

2. Olive Oil. Wait for a sale, and buy in bulk! Get the best you can afford.

3. Herbs and spices! Fresh is nice, but dried will do. I suggest garlic, your green leafy herbs, and I also had good results with dried Italian seasoning. Just don’t add salts or anything powdery.

And there you go, really. Just add your herbs to the bottle after a good bruising, and label & cork. Set in your rack for at least six weeks, the longer being the better. You can stretch it out a bit by adding fresh olive oil after you’ve used a bit, but of course, the herbs only have enough oil to go so far. Also, adding the ‘born on’ date to your label is very helpful! These also look very nice, by they way- a wonderful ‘functional decoration’ for your counter, perhaps? In any case, use how you would any other olive oil, but I suggest saving it for when the taste of the olive oil will be appreciated. Bread, salads, just on pasta, and actually, popcorn! are my favorite applications for this stuff. Have fun!

Okay! So, I enjoy learning and practicing massage as a hobby. And being as that I like to make everything myself, I’ve also learned how to make my own moisturizing massage bars. It’s very simple!

What You’ll Need:

1. A nice essential oil, or Tiger Balm. This is up to you! Use what you like.

2. The following ingredients: Cocoa butter, Shea butter, and Beeswax. Get a little more cocoa butter.

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Hi there!

Okay, so it’s no big secret that I don’t drink alcohol. But, that doesn’t prevent me from serving wine at dinners, and using it in cooking. There’s something about dumping a bunch of Merlot into a beef stew that makes it just makes it good. But, I do get stuck with partial bottles of wine, and it’s also no secret that one of my pet peeves is wasting food. By the way, Tom, from NYC, taught me this one, along with a lot of other great cooking stuff.

So, what’s a guy to do? Make some wine vinegar! Ok, this is very very simple: Get one of those liquid dispensers with the tap at the bottom. Get a couple pints of unpasteurized apple cider vinegar. You’ll have to order this online, likely. A bit of cheesecloth or an old but clean t-shirt to allow gases out, but keep the uglies out, too. Mix it all up, about 1 part vinegar to 2 parts wine. Let it sit undisurbed for a few weeks, give a taste, let it sit more, if needed. When you’re done, bottle it back up into a wine bottle, recork, and even bruise & infuse with some nice, fresh herbs. And then, marvel at the excellent quality, and the amount of cash you saved yourself. And for crying out loud, have some fun with it! try different things, herbs, whatever- this will work for champagne, too! I seriously have a dozen different bottles right now. Also, it makes an excellent small gift, when bottled in a fancy bottle with your own label.

PS: When you’re making the vinegar, a messy jelly thing may just appear on top. THIS IS GOOD. Don’t get all squirmy and come back to me all cranky because there’s a jellyfish in your wine. Just decant the wine vinegar, add more scrap wine. The goo is bacteria that’s making the process go.