More after the jump..

Okay!

You’re going to need some things. I’m keeping this really loose- I want you to taste, add, experiment.. but, I’ll tell you of a few things that I learned the hard way.

1. Wear latex gloves. DO NOT TOUCH EYE. I got habernero stuck in my contacts once. Way to go, brainiac.

2. Vinegar and salt raises the heat of the sauce. More salt, more heat.

Getting started:
Gather up these few things..

Food processor

Peppers of various heats, get what you like.. I prefer mostly Jalapeno, with Chipolte in equal quantities. Get what you like.

Salt, vinegar. The vinegar will act as a preservative, so this is important. Salt boosts the Scoville rating, but adding a little is good, As it will also aid in preservation.

A plastic or glass container, with tight fitting lid.

Jars to hold the final product.. duh.. be green and recycle whatever’s handy, or be an earth-hating perfectionist like me and buy new ones.

a SPOOOOON! (ala The Tick)

Ph Testing strips: You can get these at the aquarium store. Make sure that they can test below 4.0 on the scale, because that’s when the bad stuff happens- A Ph level of 4 or above is not sanitary and breeds bacteria. Sick diners and exploding bottles are not fun. The lower the number, the tarter it becomes, so, it’s a balancing act- but this is very, very important.

And the extras: You can use all sorts of neat stuff to give your sauce a new sort of kick.. In Florida, when tropical things abounded and farmer’s markets were everyday, I’d use fresh ginger, mangoes, big ol’ banana peppers, whatever looked good. Follow your instincts on this one, alright? I’ve also added wine, bruised fresh herbs, whatever you think will go well with it.. come up with an idea, and follow it- I’ve used a Chianti and basil in the past, with some not-so-hot peppers, and it came out wonderfully. Also, another idea is to use some very, very raw sugar or molasses, too. Garlic, always welcome, just use your brain, okay? And mind the darn Ph!

SO NOW.. you have stuff.

Cut the stems off the peppers, puree.. add to largeish glass container- DO NOT USE METAL. It’ll leave a nasty taste. Throw in a tablespoon or so of salt, to start, and enough vinegar to get down to the below-4 ph level.

Now, you let them sit and ‘ferment’ a while. Tabasco lets their “pepper mash” (which is what you’ve just made) sit for three years. As with most things, the longer the better. This would also be an ideal time to throw in some herbs, garlic, and such. I usually try to let it sit for a week, at least. Or not wait. It’s your sauce, baby.

So, now you have your mash all ready to go.  You could go pretty nutty with the additives, or just try a few different ideas.. let’s not overkill, alright? Just mind the damn Ph! After you do all that, time to prep your bottles. I give them a good boil, personally. Now, you have a choice- to strain, or not to strain? Straining takes out a lot of the seeds, and the heat, leaving more for flavor. I’m not a strainer. I’m lazy.

Funnel into bottles, seal up, hit up kinkos and make some labels, make them as nice as my pretty floral bonnet, and there you go. Enjoy!

If you’re lazier than me: You can order pepper mash & your bottles with neato heatshrink labels and other goodies at leeners.com. (Hey, Leener’s guys! Send over a yogurt maker or a stovetop smoker!)

I like good popcorn, just like everyone else! So, microwaved popcorn doesn’t really do it for me- butter makes it mushy, and it’s rather icky and expensive, too! Not to mention all of the unpronounceable chemicals that are in it. So, I kick it old school- I get the soup pot out, and make some really tasty, healthy popcorn for my snacking needs!

My favorite combo right now is using an infused olive oil (garlic!) and a nice blend from The Spice House, a local spice shop. I like their Lakeshore Drive Seasoning best, and their Old Taylor Street Cheese Sprinkle sits nicely, too, but I’d skip the infused oil on that.

Recipe and kettle corn after the jump!

Okay! Here’s your recipe, culled, tested, and fudged about to give good results. (I actually forget where I got this from! Sorry!

1. Heat oil over medium heat in a large pot with a tightfitting lid. When the oil shimmers, add the kernels and sugar, cover, and shake to evenly distribute. Once the kernels start popping, gently shake the pot until the popping dies down, about 2 to 3 minutes.
2. Remove the pot from heat, immediately toss the popcorn with the salt, and serve.

How hard can it get, really? I can only imagine how great this would be with some vanilla sugar, or hickory salt.. those little tweaks are what makes cooking so fun! So, quit spending so much on craptastic microwave popcorn- Sometimes, the old way’s the best way!